Sunday, 19 November 2017

Of sausages and saviours

Once upon a time there was a ‘pie company what done good’ They had a wonderful selection of all things pie and pasty related…. and a lot more besides. We are happy, it would appear, to regularly pay this company for the privilege of walking the streets advertising the greatness of their pies.  We do this ever so subtly (but proudly) by displaying the tell tale crumb trail from face to feet via our tracksuit. A badge of honour for us and great product placement for the purveyor of pies and assorted other pasties and pastries.  A win win for sure.

However, we had no idea what was to come…. It was truly breathtaking. The aforementioned pie emporium had been sitting on a secret for over 2000 years but decided, during our lifetime to reveal this ‘mystery of the ages’. This is certainly  ‘the greatest story never told’ and it is a story, the revelation of which the world had been waiting for while holding its collective breath. What privileged times we live in.

Little had we realised that some of the greatest feats of human goodness, some of the wisest teachings in the world, the motivation and driving force behind world transforming activities and initiatives were inspired by a 2000 year old ………….. sausage roll, 
Who knew?

In light of this truly overwhelming revelation I propose we make some minor amendments to the greatest book in the world …..

John 1
In the beginning, the Word was already there. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. All things were made through him. Nothing that has been made was made without him. Life was in him, and that life was the light for all people. The light shines in the darkness. But the darkness has not overcome the light.
…….and, the Word became a …….
sausage roll…………..

There was a stunned silence in heaven….. until one brave angel tapped God on the shoulder and said

 ‘ Good job big yin, we didn’t see that one coming, it takes left field to another level!’ How’s it going to work then?

‘Or, maybe’, saith the Lord, ‘there is a company who are great with pastry but terrible with history and maybe they did holdeth a meeting to find out who was the least creative, least imaginative, least innovative marketing agency they could find and then they did engageth this company … who did bloweth it big time.

‘However’, saith the Lord, again, ‘they have unwittingly provided a great opportunity to put the historical record straight….. we have unearthed evidence that shows the gospel according to St Greggs has strayed into error due to an unfortunate, although perhaps understandable, mistranslation of the original Greek.  

Where the record states that the giver of life changing teaching, of hope, a future, inspiration, the demonstrator of God’s love and power was Ιησούς Χριστός (Jesus Christ) they thought it said ‘sausage roll’…. Who hasn’t made that mistake before?

However, they’ve ‘fessed up’ and they have unwittingly provided great opportunities to talk about Christmas and Jesus, despite not because of their inept marketing advisors… so, all’s well and all of that. Happy CHRISTmas.